Online Dating at Sober and Single
It is our honest intention overall to provide you with a safe, secure and "No Surprises" website in your search for your someone special! Please take the time to read our Dating Safety Page.
The number one tip for dating safety is BE HONEST!
Our prime concern for you at sober and single has and always will be a website that has genuine Singles, is easy to use, fun and safe. Allowing "Real People to meet other Real People" who do not drink is our promise to you.
You are probably asking yourself, that's great that you review the profiles for content and you have been online for a long time but what does have to do with me and dating safety. Unfortunately, no known method is foolproof in the online and real world when it comes to marital status or hidden motives.
People being people, there always will be liars, cheaters and imposters misrepresenting themselves and you'll also find these players/jerks anywhere singles meet, be it in a supermarket, library, amongst the membership of a reputable off-line dating service, at your job, or quite possibly even in a fancy restaurant. Please understand, sober and single is not responsible for the outcome of any of your online / offline dating, meetings or dates. With this in mind, we have put together some safety advisories for you to read for your dating well being. Rest Assured, nothing unfortunate has ever happened with anyone using the sober and single dating service and we believe this section on online dating safety and your common sense will continue to prevent any future such occurrences from happening.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure...
SEARCHING THE PROFILES
Short profiles stating. . . tell you more later . . .I am "just looking" and seeking "fun gal" are red flags that the person composing this ad may not be sincere because they didn't put forth a concerted effort. (This type is the one who will probably stick you with the check at the restaurant if it ever got that far.)
- Posters who attempt to CHEAT the system by including a telephone number or other personal contact information in their profile in such a way that they believe our profile screeners will somehow miss this speaks unfavorably about their financial situation, honesty, and integrity. Is this really the kind of person you would like to start a relationship with? (tigers rarely change their stripes)
- A profile that speaks from the heart in what they are seeking in a mate, date or friend is the foundation for a solid relationship. We believe you will know who they are just by reading their profile!
-"Don't judge a book by its cover" ---Sometimes you will find a profile that contains some words that are spelled incorrectly or the grammar has issues, these profiles should not be dismissed altogether, show compassion and understanding that they tried the best they could to convey their thoughts to the best of there ability. Also, try to take into consideration this person might have recently just moved from another country limiting his/her vocabulary /grammar proficiency.
Start slow. Be weary of someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by first communicating solely by email(s) thru your account manager. Be on the lookout for odd behavior or inconsistencies. "Listen" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection. Never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile or initial emails you exchange with other members. In the very early beginning of e-mail correspondence, if your e-mail address has an e-mail signature file be sure your email signature file is turned off or does not include identifying information. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for this information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone before revealing any person contact information. Ask questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. Trust your gut instinct.
Careful, well-thought decisions generally lead to better results in dating, and this is certainly true with online dating too. Guard against trusting the untrustworthy. Any suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Your job is to take all the time you need to test for a trustworthy person, and pay careful attention along the way. Take a relatively conservative approach to trusting anyone you meet online. If you think someone is lying, it is likely that they are, so act accordingly. Move on to someone you can eventually trust. Conduct yourself and your romances in a responsible manner. Don't fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don't become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online.
REQUEST A PHOTO
Usually a member's photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling about your correspondent. In fact, it?s best to view several images of this person in a variety of settings: casual, formal, indoor, outdoors. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse that he has no photo, it may be because that person has something to hide. Getting a photo scanned is less than a few dollars at Kinko's or:
If you don't have the capability to upload the photo yourself we will gladly scan your photo and add it to your profile free of charge.
Mail Your Photos(s) to:
Sober and Single
5722 Wind Dancer Dr
Las Vegas, NV 89118
In an accompanying note be sure to specify: your Username...your registered email address...if sending more than one indicate which photo will be your primary photo.
Sober and Single is unable to return submitted photos unless accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope.
TALKING ON THE TELEPHONE
A phone call can reveal much about a person's communication, personality and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. But never give out your personal phone number to a stranger. Use a cell phone number instead for added security. Or make arrangements to call from a pay phone. Only when you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your private home/job phone number.
MEET WHEN YOU ARE READY
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can gradually collect information and then make a choice about pursuing the relationship in the real world. You are never obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And even if you do decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. It's possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can't logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your gut instincts, even when they can't be totally explained. Never meet someone who argues against your instincts, finds logical flaws with your feelings or pressures you in any way.
WATCH FOR RED FLAGS
Pay attention to any displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts at pressuring or controlling you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should also be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following conduct without providing an acceptable explanation:
-Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.
-Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
-Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
-Appears in person to be significantly different from his or her online persona.
-Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.
DON'T keep your date a secret . . . make sure that a friend or family member knows about your date (what, where, when.) Be sure to check in with them when you arrive at the location of your date and when you arrive back home.
MEETING FACE TO FACE - SELECT A SAFE PLACE
When you make the choice to meet offline, always tell someone either a friend or family member what you plan on doing, where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date's name and telephone number with that person. Be sure to check in with them when you arrive at the location of your date and when you arrive back home. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time when many people are present, and when the date is over leave on your own as well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present is often a fine choice. Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first few dates. If you decide to move to another location call that family member and friend to let them know that new location and be sure to take your own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.
TAKE EXTRA CAUTION OUTSIDE YOUR AREA
If you are flying in from another area, arrange for your own car and a hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date at that location, or leave a message on a home machine. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information. And if possible, carry a cell phone at all times.
GET YOURSELF OUT OF A JAM
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help, or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in danger call the police. It's always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior. Your safety is much more important than one person's opinion of you. Regardless of where, or how, you meet someone, understanding and using these suggestions will greatly minimize the potential for anything going wrong when you are seeking Ms./Mr. Right --- LIVE LOVE LAUGH !!!